Our Secrets to Love

Get your popcorn….we’re telling it all today. 


We have been married for a little over 12 years now.  Trust and believe we disagree quite frequently because we both have a mind of our own.  We both can be pretty stubborn too.  Luckily we have a lot in common and enjoy doing a lot of the same things.  If you think marriage is easy then you should probably not get married.  Honestly do you really want someone that thinks exactly like you and agrees with everything you say and do.  That would not be a very productive relationship.  We know what works for our marriage so we wanted to share it with you guys.

Friends First 

You get this one a lot but it is key.  On those days when you want to strangle your spouse it helps that you can see them as a friend too.  Because we are great friends, it is extremely difficult to go long periods of time without speaking.  We’ve gotten used to having someone there to share every moment.  Before you know it…you’re back talking and have forgotten all about why you were upset.

Aim to Please

We both enjoy seeing the other one happy therefore we aim to please.  It’s always the little things for us.  Sweet nothings via email or text throughout the day, surprise date nights, breakfast in bed, etc.  Focus more on pleasing your spouse than you do yourself.  This only works if it’s happening both ways. 

Date Often

We are expert daters…we date often.  We alternate planning date night so the other can be surprised.  It adds a little more excitement to the date.  It gives you the teenager first date feeling knowing that you have date but you have no idea what you’ll be doing.  It can become quite competitive and you’ll discover a lot of new activities this way.  

Never say The “D” Word

We agreed early on to never say the “D” word.  I’m too scared to type it.  We were married maybe a year and I said the “D” word, you would have thought I had prepared the paperwork.  Some couples have a backup plan for marriage; seperate lives, seperate bank accounts.  This is not to say that one shouldn’t have their own but if it is done in excess or maliciously, it will affect the marriage. We do absolutely nothing that will suggest there will be an end to our marriage.  The day we committed to each other was the day we committed to sharing everything. 

Get Away

If at all possible, get away from it all.  At least once a year we take a vacation with just the two of us; leaving behind work, school, and any personal issues.  This break gives us the chance to reconnect.  It is important to spend that time alone with your spouse.  You can’t get more alone than out of town with just the two of you.  It’s hard to have disagreements when you’re in a positive state of mind and your brain is in vacation mode.

Our Final Tip… 


That’s it.  I know…..just when you reached the best part of your popcorn, it’s over.  These are the secrets to our love and what works for us.  You have to find what works for you.   All relationships are different with different expectations. 

Feature image courtesy of: valentinesdaysurprises.com

4 thoughts on “Our Secrets to Love

  1. Excellent advice. We celebrate 20 years this year and we used most of these except the getaways we need more of them in our lives.

    May you be blessed with many more years together.


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